


What's the Matter, Sweetie?

by anidalah



Series: Kim's Life is Strange Drabble Compilation [12]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Depressive Episode, M/M, drabble challenge, healthy relationship, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11190600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anidalah/pseuds/anidalah
Summary: Sometimes, Warren just felt like complete and utter shit.





	What's the Matter, Sweetie?

Sometimes, Warren just felt like complete and utter shit.

It wasn’t often, and for that he felt so lucky because he knew what the problem was.  He knew a lot of people had it worse, more frequent, harder, falling into a deep pit of despair that made them want to die.  He didn’t want to die and he fortunately never had felt that way in his life.  That didn’t make the other signs of his depression any less real.

Like the cruel indifference.  The feeling like he needed to do something, _anything_ at all, but he had the urge and the drive to do absolutely nothing.  Eventually the numbness would wear away into irritability.  Anxiety.  Guilt for not doing anything.  Even though he knew it to be true, even though he knew that later he’d be really angry at himself, in the moment he couldn’t bother to care.  So he continued to lay on the couch, cover himself up in a blanket, and stare blankly in the general direction of the TV.

Honestly, he couldn’t even remember what he put on.  He just knew that once silence hit that it was his signal to push the button to keep Netflix going.  He wouldn’t be able to handle the sound of silence.  It would be maddening, probably draw him to an irritated pacing until he opened the liquor cabinet and took a few shots just so that he’d feel something other than restlessness.  At least it would slow his brain down from whatever frenzy he’d work himself into in the silence.

It hadn’t even registered in Warren’s mind that he heard the front door open.  He didn’t even notice the sound of feet coming towards him.  However, he did register when he felt a pair of warm lips against his forehead.

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Nathan asked.  In the past few years they’d been together, he’d come to learn what it meant when he found Warren just laying around like that.  It also helped that he, too, was well aware of what depression felt like and the many ways it could manifest itself.

Warren didn’t even turn his gaze from the nothingness he stared into.  He just shrugged.

“Do you want me to leave you alone or do you want me to stay in here with you?”

Warren let out an aggravated sigh.  It was a sweet thing to ask; logically, he knew that.  He also knew what a dick his depression was.  If Nathan stayed, it was likely Warren would grow irritated by the lack of solitude regardless of what Nathan did.  If Nathan left him alone, Warren would likely get lonely within moments and want attention.  Then he’d get irritated by Nathan being there.

“Fuck…” Warren murmured, “I don’t know.”  He hated how desperate he felt when he heard Nathan walking away.  His eyes widened and he sat up, reaching toward the direction that Nathan had gone off to like a child reaching for their mother.  He noticed Nathan was just going to the kitchen, grabbing some cups and getting some things out of the fridge.  He laid back down before Nathan came back, setting a cup of water and a cup of green smoothie on their coasters.

“You need to drink something.  At least drink the juice because I know you haven’t ate anything today, and if you did it was probably shit.”

Warren grunted as he sat up.  He wasn’t even going to try to argue when it was obvious.  All he’d put in his stomach that day was coffee that Nathan had made before leaving for class and half of a blueberry muffin that he left on the breakfast nook.  He’d had every intention of going back to finish it or at least cover it up so he could eat it later but neither of those things happened.

He glared at the smoothie.  The thought of putting something like that in his body, of eating or drinking anything in general, sounded disgusting.  Repugnant.  But maybe that was the nausea from the lack of sustenance talking.  He felt the glass of smoothie being shoved into his hand and he reluctantly took a sip, only because the thought of dealing with an irate Nathan was too much to handle.

The cold drink settled unpleasantly in his empty stomach and he wrinkled his nose in revulsion.  He couldn’t tell if he felt more or less gross with something in his belly.  So he refused to drink more because, maybe, dealing with an angry Nathan wouldn’t be so bad.  Being yelled at and getting angry and emotional would surely be better than the void he felt.  Sure enough, he pushed Nathan’s buttons. 

Nathan tried so hard not to get angry because he knew what was going on because he, too, would try to get Warren pissed off sometimes when the roles were reversed.  But he’d had such a long day at work and he was so damn worried about Warren that he felt overwhelmed.  And Warren knew _exactly_ what to say to get him yelling about what was surely absolutely nothing.  He worked Nathan into a frenzy, got Nathan to the point where he was walking away to go lock himself in the bathroom or something before he could say something that he’d regret.

Through hysterical sobs that he knew full-well were actually caused by him, Warren choked out a pathetic sounding, “Stay… Please stay.”

Nathan froze in his tracks, a hand resting on the doorknob to the bathroom.  He took a long, relaxing deep breath because he knew he needed to calm down.  He knew he couldn’t walk away, not when Warren needed him.  Not after all the times that Warren had been there for him.  He couldn’t leave the man he loved alone when he was so desperately needed.

So, Nathan took another breath to calm himself and settled on the couch.  He pulled Warren onto his lap, kissed him on the forehead, and just held him.  He held Warren as he sobbed and whispered that he was sorry over and over again.  Nathan assured him that it was okay, that he got it, that it really was something he understood so well because he did that far more often than Warren did.  Eventually, Warren stopped crying but Nathan continued to hold him.

“How are you feeling?” Nathan murmured against Warren’s temple before pressing a kiss to it.

“Like shit.”  Still, and Warren would probably continue to feel that way for quite some time.  He probably needed to go to the doctor, talk about getting on pills and seeing a therapist again but he still didn’t have the drive to do anything except maybe continuing to lay in Nathan’s lap; at least there he felt safe.


End file.
